Hr Or H?
by Damsel In Distress
Summary: An anonymous love letter from a mysterious “H” to Draco leads him coming to freakish conclusions and unsettling yet amusing situations. Please R & R!!! (Currently out of ideas, please HELP ME!)
1. Default Chapter

**__**

Hr Or H?

DISCLAIMER- J.K ROWLING OWNS THE CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO HARRY POTTER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS STORY, PLOT OR STORY LINE TO ANY OTHER STORY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. 

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CHAPTER 1

A high pitch squeal interrupted the normally serene and peaceful morning atmosphere of the Slytherin common room.

Draco who had lately been sifting through his mail was now collapsed onto the carpet with a look of shock and repulsion scrawed onto his face. In his right hand a piece of parchment lay scrunched up in a tight ball in Draco's clammy hands.

-*-

Blaise stood surveying Draco Malfoy, in his element, sprawled down on the ground in a heap. 

A sharp schreech had disturbed Blaise during her daily ritual of deciding the most suitable and becoming outfit or frock for the day's endeavour. Alarmed Blaise had travelled from her dormitory and quite nearly stumbled over Draco. 

Blaise stood majestically over the fallen body of her fellow comrade. Her attention was focused on a glimpse of parchment in Draco's hand. Struggling ferociously she managed successfully to unclench Draco's hand and remove the cause of the disturbance. Wrinkling her nose, she read:

**__**

Dearest one,

I'm not really sure of my definite feelings but I think I love you. I know this may come as a shock if you were to know my true identity but please do not be subject to predjudices. 

As of these recent times I have uncovered my real feelings for you. I was, once a upon a time, repressing my inner feelings but I can no longer deny it and cover my love by using some weak, cheap, useless charade of lies, deceit and pretend hatred. 

I shall not let you know my true identity as yet but in time I will gradually reveal myself to you, till then I can only depart you with the first letter of my first name.

I hope you feel the same way about me. I hope you don't really hate me, even though it seems to be the case.

Forever yours, 

'H'

Blaise's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets as she read the delightfully divine love letter. 

This letter must have been the source of the commotion!

-*-

Draco's eyelids blinked blearily around the common room as he regained consciousness. 

He stood shakily as he straightened up his robes. His eyes travelled around the room as his eyesight became clearer and more focused.

He hauled himself together and fell down onto a nearby lounge, carefully smoothing out the rumpled letter and re-reading. 

To fully grasp his current situation he was compelled to draw in a breath of air. As the blood circulated carrying oxygen into his brain he noted any minor indicator of whom the true identity of the letter writer might be. 

The letter was written in carefully printed out handwriting, not cursive and the parchment smelled stationary. Even his magnificent brain could not work out whom had written the letter.

He clucked his tongue as his forehead creased in deep thought. 

Who was the one he always insulted? Who often did the same to him? Who was the one he always had verbal fights with? Who was the one he hated, and who hated him back? Who was the one with a first name starting with H? 

Suddenly, the puzzles pieces clicked into place. And as they did so, a very sick feeling sunk in Draco's stomach.

Could it be—oh no, heaven forbid, if there really was a heaven—POTTER???

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A/N- PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

**__**

Hr Or H?

DISCLAIMER- J.K ROWLING OWNS THE CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO HARRY POTTER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS STORY, PLOT OR STORY LINE TO ANY OTHER STORY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. 

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CHAPTER 2

"Bloody hell!!!" Draco exclaimed as the unwelcome thought settled in his mind. 

"Oh no, no, please no." Draco pleaded silently to the heavens. 

He hastily shredded the parchment to pieces and burned the letter in the fireplace. He watched in satisfaction as the last remains of the letter disintegrated into ashes.

Draco briskly walked out of the Slytherin common room and walked around the school to take his mind off the horrid thought. 

Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, was in love with him.

Draco attempted to console himself in the hope that it all might be some joke. Some sick, twisted, cruel joke but Draco was beyond the means of desperation. He would be quite willing to believe that it was **just **a joke. But through his magnificent talents of logic, deduction and observation even Draco was able to work out that the letter was not false.

People at Hogwarts either sided with "the great Harry Potter" or secretly or not the Slytherins. Draco Malfoy, being the great and honorable leader of Slytherins represented Slytherins, so in actual fact people either was with Potter or him. But who would dare play a joke on him? 

If the letter was a joke, then the sender obviously didn't side with either of them. And for Draco, that made no sense at all.

Then the letter must be for real. 

Then a new thought settled in Draco's mind, which made him feel wretched. If Potter fancied him, Draco couldn't go on making his life a living hell, because Potter might interpret it as flirting.

Logic being as logic is, meant that he would have to cease making Potter's life insufferable or else Potter would construe it as Draco trying to be, dare I say, playful? Mischievous? And then that meant he would have to ignore Potter but that would most certainly be torture for his innocent, carefree and fun-loving spirit. 

Damn it!!!

Suddenly, he bumped into something solid and moving.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" a shrill voice cut through the air and pierced through Draco's ears.

He directed his attention and saw Granger, looking definitely irritated.

Draco's lips formed a smirk. "I can't help it if your tub of lard it too hefty for these narrow school corridors, mudblood," Draco snapped.

Granger blushed red. However, before Draco could attempt another snide remark or Hermione could retort back, Weasley and Potter appeared beside her.

"Watch what you're saying, you ferret-faced git before you find yourself even more retarded than you are now!" growled Ron, his arms swinging about wildly.

Draco however was oblivious to the fact that he being threatened. He stood frozen, rooted to the spot, his attention focused on Potter.

Potter stalked his way up to Draco, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Apologize, get out or I'll stick my wand up your depraved arse!"

__

"Potter wants to stick his wand **up my arse!** **_My dilapidated arse! _**He just commented on my arse!" Draco thought hysterically.

Sending those long love letters was already not particularly comforting for his mental wellbeing and then this?! This, an innuendo-filled pick-up line like the one Potter just used on him was just too much for his pure and tender soul.

Sufficiently traumatized, Draco screamed his lungs out as he ran back to his common room, seeking immediate counseling. 

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A/N- PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**__**

Hr Or H?

DISCLAIMER- J.K ROWLING OWNS THE CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO HARRY POTTER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS STORY, PLOT OR STORY LINE TO ANY OTHER STORY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. 

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CHAPTER 3

Draco's piercing scream shattered through the silence of the early morning corridors. He weaved in and out of the corridors, frantically trying to remember where the portrait for the Slytherin common room was.

He halted abruptly when he spotted a puggy dwarf dressed up in a white diaper with red and pink heart shaped patterns decorated along the sides, standing at the doorway.

The dwarf stomped in front of Draco and glanced at the parchment before him and then to Draco. 

"Are you Draco Malfoy?" asked the surly dwarf.

"Yes, why?" stuttered Draco, wiping back the beads of invisible sweat forming on his creamy skin.

"I have a valentine for a Draco Malfoy. I have a valentine for you," sung the grouchy dwarf.

"But- but- but Valentine's day was over long ago!" spluttered a bewildered Draco.

"Valentine's day is not the only day when one can receive or dispatch a valentines. For instance, today's not valentine's day and you are about to get one," stated the dwarf lazily.

"Who is it from?! Who?! Who?!" screeched Draco. Draco snatched the dwarf by his bow and shook his violently till the diapers were beginning to slip of. 

"Stop it! I can't speak properly when I'm agitated," choked out the dwarf.

Draco unwillingly let go of the dwarf. The dwarf grudgingly pulled up his patterned diapers. 

"I am not at liberty to dismiss information about the sender of whom wishes to remain anonymous. Now, let me get this over and done with for both of us!" commanded the irritated dwarf.

Draco let out a shriek of unbridled agony and agitation before the dwarf, much to the Draco's horror, performed a full- on rendition of a popular muggle song, accompanied with pirouettes, flashy colours and neon lights. 

**** __

I know I may be young,

But I've got feelings too,

And I need to do what I feel like doing,

So let me go,

And just listen,

All of you people look at me like I'm a little guy,

Well, did you ever think it would be okay for me to step into this world,

Always saying little guy, don't step onto the block,

I'm just trying to find out why because this is what I've learned,

I know I may come off wild, I may come off shy,

But I feel like talking, I feel like dancing when I see this guy,

What's practical? What's logical? What the hell, who cares?

All I know is that I'm so happy when you're dancing near,

I'm a slave for you,

I cannot hold it, I cannot control it,

I'm a slave for you,

I won't deny it, I'm not trying to fight it,

Baby don't you want to, dance upon me,

To another time and place,

Oh baby, don't you want to, dance upon me,

Because I'm an animal,

Like that,

You like it?

Now watch me,

I really want to dance tonight with you,

I really want to do what you want me to do,

I really want to dance tonight with you,

I really want to do what you want me to do,

Baby don't you won't to, dance upon me,

To another time and place,

Baby don't you won't to, dance upon me,

Because I'm an animal,

I'm a slave for you,

I cannot hold it, I cannot control it,

I'm a slave for you,

I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it baby,

I'm a slave for you,

I cannot hold it, I cannot control it,

I'm a slave for you,

I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it,

Like that!

The song ended with an explosion of colourful fireworks and glittery pom-poms. 

The sounds of loud, hysterical laughter and frenzied clapping drifted from the doorway as soon as the dwarf finished performing

"Encore! Encore!" 

Blaise Zambini, Pansy Parkinson and a few other Slytherins were collapsed, rolling about in the doorway, roughly slapping the ground. 

Draco screamed in sheer terror at the very thought of another 3 minutes and 29 second rendition of "I'm a slave 4 U" performed by a nappy wearing, bow and arrow-cupid-look-a-like dwarf. 

DISCLAIMER- THE SONG SUNG ABOVE ENTITLED "I'M A SLAVE 4 U" IS PROPERTY OF BRITNEY SPEARS.

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A/N- PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hr Or H?_**

DISCLAIMER- J.K ROWLING OWNS THE CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING RELATED TO HARRY POTTER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS STORY, PLOT OR STORY LINE TO ANY OTHER STORY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. 

**CHAPTER 4**

Draco collapsed onto the bench of the Slytherin dining area. His morning was not one he was fond of retelling or reminiscing over. His list of freakish incidents totaled 8 and it was only 9 in the early morning. A shortened summary of these consisting of:

__

__

_An anonymous' love letter from Potter' _ _Draco fainting in the Slytherin common room from shock _ _Draco nearly needing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Pansy _ _Bumping into the wonder trio' _ _Potter using a pick up line on Draco _ _A valentine's dwarf serenading "I'm a slave 4 U" from anonymous' _ _The Slytherins hearing the love song dedication _ _The Slytherins on the verge of multiple heart attacks_

This was more than enough for a young, relatively healthy male of 16. 

Draco glanced up above at the flock of owls circling around the ceiling. His own jet-black owl was already perched near his goblet and nibbling on the morning breakfast's latest delicacies. His owl had already delivered his daily package of sweets from home. 

Above them a tawny school owl was circling in upon Draco's sleek, platinum blonde head. He flew in and landed itself next to Draco's plate. The tawny owl held out it's leg as it waited for Draco to untie the scarlet roll of parchment Draco glanced down at the letter wearily and slowly opened the letter. 

A loud scream echoed through the Entrance hall as the letter launched itself into it's own personal version of "Boys"

__

__

_For whatever reason,_

_I feel Ive been wanting you all my life,_

_If you don't understand,_

_I'm so glad we are at the same place at the same time,_

_It's over now,_

_I spotted you dancing,_

_You made all the girls stare,_

_Those lips and your blue eyes and the sexy hair,_

_I said shake my thing,_

_You made the girls want you,_

_Tell your boys you'll be back,_

_I want to see what you can do,_

_What would it take for you to just stick with me,_

_Not trying to sound conceited but you and me are meant to be,_

_You're a sexy god,_

_I'm a nice girl,_

_Let's turn this dancing floor into our own little nasty world,_

_Boys,_

_Sometimes a girl just needs one,_

_Boys,_

_To love and to hold,_

_Boys,_

_When a girl is with one,_

_Boys,_

_She's in control,_

_Get your boys off the dance floor,_

_Swimming in this year,_

_Must of said something about me,_

_Because he's looking over here,_

_You're looking at me,_

_With that sexy attitude,_

_But the ways boys are moving it,_

_It puts me in the mood,_

_What would it take for you to just be with me?_

_Not trying to sound conceited but you and me are meant to be,_

_You're a sexy god,_

_I'm a nice girl,_

_Let's turn this dancing floor into our own little nasty world,_

_Boys,_

_Sometimes a girl just needs one,_

_Boys,_

_To love and to hold,_

_Boys,_

_When a girl is with one,_

_Boys,_

_Then she's in control,_

_Tonight lets fly, boy have no fear,_

_There's no time to lose,_

_And next week you may not see me here,_

_So boy just make your move,_

_Let's see what you can do,_

_Boys,_

_Sometimes a girl just needs one,_

_Boys,_

_To love and to hold,_

_Boys,_

_When a girl is with one,_

_Boys,_

_Then she's in control,_

_Come, come with me,_

_Let's fly into the night,_

_When boy tonight is ours,_

_Keep loving me,_

_Make sure you hold me tight,_

_Let's plan before the stars,_

_Get nasty,_

_Boys,_

_Sometimes a girl just needs one,_

_Boys,_

_To love and to hold,_

_Boys,_

_When a girl is with one,_

_Boys,_

_Then she's in control,_

_Can't live with them,_

_Can't live without them_

The loud screeched which was magnified 100 times louder then normal made recognition of the voice practically impossible and much like ahowler the parchment once it had ended reciting the romantic verses had burst into flames and scattered the ashes all over Draco's breakfast. 

Oblivious to his actions, Draco opened and shut his mouth up several times before managing to grasp the simple concept. Draco finally in tune with the surroundings managed to hear a couple of his fellow 6th year Slytherins sniggering a few derisive comments. 

**A/N-** PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!!


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